Talking with people yesterday I kinda brought myself back to last year a bit. As trite as this probably sounds right now, that morning was the most depressingly surreal experience of my short life. I won't ever forget that first hour, when I saw the World Trade Center collapse and wished I could cry, but didn't have enough of a grip on reality to do it. I know that people die everyday, and that around the world there is much more violence to bemoan than we sheltered Americans can fathom, but that does not invalidate a feeling of personal injury when the country you live falls victim to an unexpected attack.

See, I consider myself the epitome of an American. Not becuase I was born here, and certainly not because I think we're perfect. Au contraire, we can be self-absorbed, hedonistic, slackers. That isn't the point. The point is the ideal. There are three things worth fighting for in America: freedom of thought (which includes religion and any other affiliations), the freedom of the press, and universal suffrage. He who controls information, controls the world. An unprejudiced media is the democratic ideal. This is the key to democracy: the guarentee of being able to have, share, and use one's opinions without fear.

Also, I straight up like captitalism. I prefer to work to get my own benefits, and challenge myself against competition. I like that competition encourages fair prices and higher quality products. (Remember, I'm judging the ideal here, not the degree of success with which we practice it.) This, however, is a preference, not a moral judgement. Other styles of economic/social order may work better for other people, and I'm ok with that.

What bothers me more than anything, is that the September 11th fiasco has proven we can't keep our media objective in a crises. Last year around this time, the slightest hint of lukewarm patriotism was enough to vindicate ostracisation on personal AND professional levels. How the heck are we supposed to come to a fair and wise course of action if we aren't allowed to debate all sides without persecution? (Understand, it's not that I'm against patriotism. Indeed, I consider myself a more true patriot than many others who claim this title. Patriotism is active responsibility, NOT blind allegiance.) Appreciation/love for one's country should be a CHOICE, not a mandate. To make American patriotism a requirement, as it has almostly literally become in mass media, is patently un-American. This country SHOULD have it's foundations in the right to be informed, and the right to choose.

Oh, one more thing. Why is it that we didn't hear about the dozen or so U.S. embassy bombings that occurred worldwide PRIOR to September 11th last year? American citizens died those places too. That degree of worldly ignorance is bewildering and frightening. Makes me wonder what else we won't hear about until too late.

Alright, I'll get off my soap box. As a final gesture, here is my moment of blankness (as opposed to silence) for those who were harmed by the attacks on 9-11, and their families: ___________________________________________________________.

The Estrogen Cake Strikes Again!!!
Sunday, September 8, 2002

For those of you clueless about "estrogen cake", basically this is a cake decked out with as much chocolate as possible. Mmmmmm, chocolate. Typically, it is served on a "girls' night out" evening. This weekend, that is exactly what a couple of my chica friends and I had. We treated ourselves to pizza, candy, chocolate ... and a series of Mel Brooks films. Let me tell you, Mel is HILARIOUS! (Most of the time he is anyway. The Producers was a bit of a dissapointment, although it's probably much better on Broadway.) He needs to never die, so that he can keep on making movies.